Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
