Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
