i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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