how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
