So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
