Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's never too late to be topless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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