There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
