We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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