She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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