I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
