pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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