Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
