she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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