Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
