I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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