I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
