If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just tell him i said nine months
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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