You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
