too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
