Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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