There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
