I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
