I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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