dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
