If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
