He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The ass gains better be worth it
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