it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Vodka?
Forever.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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