I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
