just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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