i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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