I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
