i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
