Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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