hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
