She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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