your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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