Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
