her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
