well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
