he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
