Yo dont text me then not text me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
