lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
