When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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