I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
