Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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