At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
bring money and cleavage
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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