I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's never too late to be topless.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
