I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
