it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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