i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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