yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
