But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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