I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
