I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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