guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
